


Rooftop Meetings And A Wedding

by gloriousdae



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, For some reason I use the number three a lot, Frances and Martha are mentioned, Johns mostly chill about it this time, M/M, alexander is getting married, but John isn’t at the wedding even tho he’s supposed to be the best man, writing the end made me cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriousdae/pseuds/gloriousdae
Summary: John and Alexander have been friends for years, and now Alexander’s set to get married in a day.This one shot that’s longer than I thought it would be includes whiskey, some gay, some understanding Eliza, and Alexander sobbing on a rooftop.





	Rooftop Meetings And A Wedding

Laurens had gotten home from England only two hours ago, and sure it was eleven at night and Alexander probably needed sleep, but he was driving the three blocks to John’s apartment.  
They’d do what they always did, take three bottles of whiskey to the roof of John’s building, sit on a shitty quilt John’s had since childhood, and they’d talk. And god Alexander missed talking to John. Over the last month they had spoken on the phone a few times, but on his visits with Frances he likes to keep busy, and Alexander understood, so he didn’t press. So the two hadn’t talked. They spoke, checked in, but it wasn’t the same, not to Alexander at least.  
Alexander let himself onto the roof, over the years knowing exactly how to do it. He smiled brightly when he spotted Laurens sitting there, sped up and gently tapped his shoulder.  
“Did you get an accent yet, Jacky?” He asks, laughing a bit when he saw John startle slightly.  
“No, I told you, I’m not going to get an accent from being there a month twice a year.” John says shaking his head, smiling at Alexander as he sat down.  
“I would say you should stay longer, until you get an accent, but I also don’t like going a month without you, let alone however long it takes to get an accent.” Alexander says shaking his head,  
“Even if I wanted to, Martha wouldn’t let me stay any longer.”  
“Fine. Well, how’s your girl?”  
“Getting bigger, I left my phone downstairs, or I’d show you pictures, she really remembered me this time.” John says with a grin. “Doesn’t know me as her father, but John is good enough for me, I’m not much a father anyway.”  
“That’s good, but you’re definitely a shit father.”  
“And how’s your girl?”  
“Excited to get married, we both are.”  
“I can’t believe you’re actually getting married, that someone is actually stupid enough loves you.”  
“You love me,”  
“Exactly my point, only idiots love you.”  
“I’ll tell her you said that.”  
“She can’t do anything about it, it’s too late to find another best man, you get married in two days.”  
And their conversation carried on for awhile, until around three in the morning when the last of the whiskey was gone, and they fell asleep there, holding each other.  
Alexander woke up at five, only two hours later, a cold breeze getting to him. He sat up, gently woke John up.  
And they worked to gather their things silently, walking down the stairs to John’s apartment.  
Once they were inside, bottles were thrown away, the quilt returned to the back of the couch, and John pulled Alexander to the bedroom with him.  
And finally, the silence was broken.  
“I wish I was the one marrying you.” It was a whisper as John took off his shirt, then pulled Alexander into bed with him.  
“I know you do, Jacky.” Alexander says, “if you were quicker.”  
“If I was quicker, smarter, better, her, then I would be the one marrying you, but I’m not her. Goodnight.” And he pressed himself to Alexander’s chest like he always did.  
“I love you, even if we’re not what you want exactly, I love you.” Alexander says quietly.  
“I know.”  
They both fell asleep quickly after that, holding each other tightly.  
They woke up around eleven, and John walked Alexander to the door, grabbed his hand before he could walk away to the stairs.  
“May I have a kiss goodbye?”  
“No you may not, I have to get home to my fiancé.”  
“Come on Alexander, one small goodnight kiss.”  
“Laurens, I get married in a day and a half.” Alexander says pulling his hand back.  
“You say your vows this time tomorrow.” John corrects simply,  
“Which is why I shouldn’t be kissing you at all.”  
“It’s a small kiss goodbye, you had no trouble giving me one last time I left.”  
“Last time it was to England for a month, this time it’s to your apartment three blocks from mine and I’ll be seeing you in the afternoon.”  
“But what if you never see me again?”  
“Fine. One small kiss that stays between us.”  
“Don’t they always?”  
And it was going to be a small peck, a meaningless thing. But then John was wrapping his arms around Alexander’s neck and deepening the kiss. And damn Alexander for letting it happen, for kissing him back just like that.  
And after a few long moments, they pulled apart, Laurens smirking.  
“If you’re going to be married, I won’t be able to kiss you anymore.” John explains.  
“So you had to make out with me?”  
“You kissed me back, sweetheart.”  
Alexander rolled his eyes, pressed a quick kiss to John’s forehead before he walked off.  
—  
John was supposed to be over ten minutes ago, and sure he wasn’t the most timely person Alexander knew, it didn’t matter. Alexander was sitting on the small balcony of his apartment, watching the street fourteen stories down. He looked over a bit curiously when he saw two police cars and ambulance, wondered briefly what had happened before shrugging it off.  
Whenever he saw any emergency vehicle he wondered, only for a moment. When he first moved to the busy city he didn’t think he’d ever grow used to how many sirens that went off, but now they supplied a source of entertainment. Sometimes, he and Eliza would talk about what they thought had happened, from trivial things like speeding to more large things like a drug bust.  
And right now, even the wonder of what the cars were for wasn’t enough to distract him from his thoughts. John texted him thirteen minutes ago, a simple thing that said “leaving now” followed by quite a few hearts. And the walk between their places wasn’t that long, John could do it in ten minutes unless he was distracted, and the drive would be even quicker. So Alexander was left to wonder what was taking him so long.  
He sighed a bit, rested his arms on the railing, rested his chin on his arms, watching the ants that were really people. And then he watched the ambulance drive off, the sirens still blaring. He wondered if they were ridiculously loud inside or if it was soundproof, then decided it was an inbetween and simply muffled. But the police sirens weren’t going, and as the ambulance left as quickly as it came, that continued to be more noticeable. After living in the city for nearly seven years, he was still unable to tell the difference in the different sirens. And sure, there were emergency vehicles, but never as plentiful as they were here, there seemed to be an endless supply.  
Five minutes later, he heard his phone ringing. It was sitting on the kitchen table, so he turned his head and looked in at Eliza, sitting only a few feet from it.  
“Answer that for me, love?” He asks simply, saw her nod and then he contently turned back to watching the street, barely listening to what Eliza was saying.  
“Uh huh, thank you, I’ll tell him, yes that’s right, he’ll want to know as well, he knows plenty about him, he can help, thank you, good day.”  
And then he heard his phone set down, and the scrap of the chair on the ground as Eliza stood up.  
“Alexander,”  
“Yes?”  
“How are you?” She asks, draped her arms over Alexander’s shoulders as she stood behind him.  
“I’m well, wondering where Laurens is, looking forward to tomorrow.” Alexander says, looked up at Eliza with a wide grin. “And how’s miss Schuyler on her last day as miss Schuyler?”  
“I’m alright, looking forward to being missus Hamilton.” She says carefully,  
“Who was on the phone?”  
“It was… well I assume a nurse? Someone like that. There was a car crash, and.,. Laurens was in it.”  
“He was?” Alexander’s smile fell, “what hospital is he at.”  
“I don’t think that matters,” Eliza says,  
“Of course it matters! Where is he, I’ll go see him.”  
“He’s gone, Alexander. I’m sorry. He was hit.”  
“Was… was he driving?”  
“He was.”  
All Alexander did was nod, then a few minutes later he shrugged Eliza’s arms off of him. “I’ll be inside in a bit.” He says, which was her cue to leave him, which she took, gently closing the door to the balcony.  
Alexander was left glaring at the street, glaring at a silent police car that drove in the same direction as the ambulance had. The ambulance he could only assume carried his best friend in his last moments. The ambulance that was going so fast, but not fast enough to save Jack. His Jacky.  
It didn’t matter.  
Alexander shook his head a bit, it didn’t matter. He’d call Lafayette in a while, tell him he got the best man spot he had been jokingly asking for since the wedding planning started. John was supposed to be his best man, and then Alexander would try to help John find a good man, so Alexander could one day return the favor. John was supposed to be his best man, and then John was going to come and house sit and feed Eliza’s fish for the next week while they were away on their honeymoon. John was going to finally start talking to Martha about having Frances come here.  
John was going to do so many things, and now a rushing ambulance had failed him. Or something had. Something failed. Alexander remembered reading that a majority of car crashes happened within five minutes of getting home, the driver was more relaxed, therefore more likely to lose control.  
But his John wouldn’t do that. John was always careful to be aware of everything. Ever since the crash back home that got his brother hospitalized, John was so much more careful.  
But it didn’t matter. Because someone else wasn’t   
careful and now Laurens was gone.  
It was a cliché in movies and things, that the person who caused the crash got out unscratched but the other dead. And that unscratched person hardly ever cared about the person they killed.  
Alexander felt sick. He felt trapped. He stood up, shaking his head and going inside the apartment.  
“I love you,” He says simply, looking at his wife to be who was back to sitting at the table. “Tomorrow will be amazing, I’ll make sure our wedding is amazing. But I’m going to Lafayette’s right now. I’m sorry.”  
“I understand, just be careful for me.” Eliza says gently, “I get it, don’t worry, just get home safe.”  
Alexander just nods, picked up his phone and left the apartment.  
At this exact moment they were supposed to be sitting down for a somewhat late lunch. All three of them. And John was supposed to make jokes that’d make any other girl jealous, but not his Betsy, she always seemed to silently understand their relationship. John could blatantly say something that would upset anyone else, and Eliza would laugh. They’d laugh together. They’d tease him together. And sure, Eliza and Lafayette laughed together. And Hercules told Eliza stories about him growing up, and they’d tease him. But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the two people he loved more than anything. It was just his Eliza with his friends and family.  
John was more than that, but it didn’t matter. John was gone now so it didn’t matter.  
—  
“But what if you never see me again?” Those words, those cocky words Laurens said only to get himself a kiss, those words that they didn’t think would be true. They were all Alexander could think of during his wedding.  
Lafayette walked down the aisle with Angelica instead of John doing it. Lafayette was right beside him the whole day, the Frenchman lost Laurens too, but he was so ready to be there for Alexander.  
Alexander had t gone to see Lafayette yesterday, he only walked around for a few hours, trying to feel less sick and angry.  
Now he just felt empty.  
He danced with Martha Washington, watching his new wife dance with his boss, and then him and George traded and they were dancing with their wives. Eliza was smiling so brightly up at him, he leaned in kissed her, if only to distract himself from his thoughts.  
If Eliza noticed how upset he was, she didn’t say anything.  
They got home by midnight, and all they did was undress and go to bed. And maybe that’s what tipped Eliza off, let her know just how upset Alexander was.  
It was twenty sleepless minutes in the dark later when Eliza took Alexander’s hand, squeezed gently to get his attention.  
“How are you?”  
“I’m happy to have my missus Hamilton.”  
“And everything else?”  
“I’m unhappy.”  
“Understandable.”  
And then they were quiet, and the quiet was tense and Alexander hated it.  
“Will you hate me if I go? Just for a while? I just need to clear my head, I’ll be back soon, I promise.”  
“Alexander, honey, it’s okay.” Eliza says gently, she sat up, turned on the bedside lamp. “I rather you stay, so you don’t do anything dumb.”  
“I won’t, I promise.” Alexander says quickly,  
Eliza sighed, then decided to just try it, she had heard John calm him down so many times with just the word, she hoped she could do the same. “Alexi, please.”  
“No, don’t say that.” Alexander snaps, pulled his hand away and shifted, “don’t you dare, that’s his.”  
“I know, I’m sorry, let’s just talk, okay?”  
“We can talk in the morning.” Alexander says shaking his head, getting out of bed and pulling sweatpants and a t-shirt on. “I’m sorry, I need to clear my head.”  
Eliza sighed, but nods, watched Alexander with a frown. “Should I wait up?”  
“No, no don’t worry, just get some rest. When you wake up, I’ll be ready to be the perfect husband you deserve.” Alexander says, slipped on sandals and then was out of the room.  
And then he found himself at a convenient store between his apartment and John’s, buying three bottles of whiskey. And then he went to John’s, grabbing that old quilt that smelled just like John.  
He sat on the roof, wrapped that quilt around himself tightly and just watched the city, listened to the sirens, drank the whiskey.  
He did lay back at one point, and chuckled to himself a bit, shaking his head as he thought.  
—  
“One day, Alexi, I’ll run away to some random place in the country, and I’ll paint all day and watch the stars all night.”  
“You can do that here.”  
“I have a job here, and you look up, you look up and tell me if you can see stars.”  
John pulled Alexander to lay down, and he looked up, then smiled and pointed.  
“There’s a star.”  
“That’s an airplane, airhead.”  
—  
Alexander took a long drink from the whiskey, watched a plane go by. He had told John they were shooting stars multiple times, but he never won that debate.  
—  
“One day, one day I’ll meet someone.”  
“You’ve net quite a lot of people.”  
“No, no, someone like your Betsy, someone special. And we’re gonna have a family, we’ll adopt a kid, or maybe we’ll foster, and that kid will be so happy.”  
“You have a kid.”  
“But I fucked up, Alexander, she doesn’t know me as her dad, I’m just, a stranger. But I’m gonna have a kid if my own, and they’re gonna love me, and I’ll love them, and whoever my husband is, he’ll be included in all that love.”  
“I’ll set you up, hows that? I’ll find some nice guy for you, someone I know who’ll be good to you and your future kid. And for one small fee.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Be my best man.”  
“No, I told you, have Frenchie do it. The best man shouldn’t be in love with the groom.”  
“At least it’s not the bride.”  
—  
“You make me feel drunk?”  
“I what?”  
“No seriously, Jacky, you make me feel drunk. Make me feel bubbly and then weird, and happy, and fuzz, and like I wanna tell you everything.”  
“You’re a dumbass.”  
“What?”  
“I love you too, Alexi.”  
“I do not love you.”  
“What you just described is love.”  
“That’s drunk.”  
“Drunk on love, dumbass.”  
—  
Alexander sighed as he finished the first whiskey, then sat up, looked over the edge.  
“Hope you’re happy, asshole.” He mumbles, shaking his head. “Hope you find some guy, someone who treats you how you deserve to be treated, even if it’s some asshole in hell, because we both know your ass ain’t in heaven. But it’s okay, I’ll see you there one day.” He shook his head and choked on his breath a bit as he held back a sob. “You’re a fucker, leaving me on my own for my wedding. I wish I could hate you and forget you and move on. But hey, maybe I’ll meet your girls at the funeral. I’ll get to tell your little girl that her daddy loved her so much, I’ll tell her for you, I will. I’ll let your family know you’re so much better than they think you are, I’ll tell them everything about you that I can, they’ll love you again, too little too late, they’ll love a memory, but they’ll love you. And I’ll make sure your paintings are sold accordingly, not just given away, and I know you want the money to just go to whoever, but I think Frances or maybe a charity? I’ll have to ask Frenchie. Fuck, John I’m drunk. It’s been years since I’ve gotten properly drunk without you. I love you so much, you know that, because I always kissed you back, I’m sorry I could never be that someone for you. But I swear to god I love you, and I always will. I love Eliza, I love her so much. But you, I loved you first, and you taught me that, you told me, and I knew it was love before but until you told me, I didn’t have a name for it. I love you, and I hope you’re happy, I hope you know it was too soon, and that Lafayette was a shitty best man, and it’s only been a day and I miss you so much. I love you so much, John Laurens.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment how the end made you feel.


End file.
